January 30, 2023

steve curry

steve curry
picture: Getty Images

Steve Curry’s new title, The Petty King, feels contrived. He’s up to the post-finals best player to summon whoever insulted him. Gorgeous, man, your legacy is as authentic as it comes. Why didn’t this character appear before the long-sought Finals Player of the Year, while you were still vulnerable?

The last person who felt Steve’s anger was Mike James. He spent four years in the league, including a year in the Golden State, and made headlines this week leaving Curry out of the top five. He had the audacity to summon a one-dimensional Carrie.

Well, The Petty King caught wind, and responded at a basketball camp.

I know he’s cute or whatever, but unless Kevin Durant learns this behavior from Steve, there really is one Petty King out there, and he has the hearth accounts to prove it. Durant not only responds to the slightest insult, but the kids come loaded with two barrels.

There is a certain level of nonsense that KD has not tolerated since he descended into the life of a social killer, and feels that his tolerance is getting shorter. Any day, he would now start harassing people for using OMG and LOL in verbal conversations.

Honestly, if we really want to talk to the Petty King, Larry David is the greatest emperor forever. The stove account of telling trolls who comment on your tweets to have sex with themselves anonymously seems to be a great introduction to an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Being petty is not a trait you develop. It is ingrained in your DNA. No tweet, bulk quote, side look, or perceived insult is unquestionable.

If Carrey wants to call himself the Petty King, the Little Crown, or the Partial Petty with a strong chance of a Petty, that’s fine. But the little king? I’ll see a lot more than just a reference to G leaguer after he left you out of the top five.

Carey should have opened the press conference by saying, “I’ve been at camp for two weeks, and I really feel like I’ve been a teammate with these kids longer than Mike James.” Or, “Mike was a one-dimensional player too, but his only dimension was ass-sucking in basketball.”

If there’s a master class in Jamila, I’m not even sure Carrie is my top seven picks to teach her.

Lionel Messi bike kick you say?

Paris Saint-Germain began defending their Ligue 1 title on Saturday as if they were running unopposed. During the 5-0 defeat of Claremont Foot, Lionel Messi tried to avoid boredom by increasing the difficulty level.

What does this mean for the title race? When I get Claremont Foot disease, how do I get rid of it? I have no idea. I thought it would be fun to watch Messi coordinate his bike kick.

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