October 3, 2022

  • Amanda Hanson is a psychologist, author, trainer, and popular TikToker.
  • She decided to stop dyeing her hair and went completely gray.
  • This is Hanson’s story, as told to Polly Anna Brown.

This forwarded article is based on a conversation with Amanda Hanson. Edited for length and clarity.

“why are you doing that?”

It was a simple question that slipped my husband’s lips as I told him and our 17 year old son in the kitchen that this was the last day I would dye my hair.

I’ve lived most of my life listed in places that focus on fashion and beauty. In places where Botox starts in your twenties, the skin is assumed to be dewy, and the hair – the hair is assumed to be rich in different colours, as long as it is not grey.

Which is why choosing to embrace the silver lining of my natural hair—to see the beauty of the next phase of my life blossom—was an act of radical rebellion.

Enter the resistance

“Don’t you worry about looking dull with your skin tone and gray hair?” My husband continued.

I replied, “No, actually, it never occurred to me. But it obviously happened to you.”

Then my son looked up and said, “Mom, you’ll shake it.”

You stuck to my word. I never dyed my hair again.

My husband wasn’t as excited or excited as I wanted him to be at first. In my eyes, he was thrilled that I was embracing who I am and kicking beauty standards to the limit. But during my in-between phase of researching and learning to embrace myself in new ways, he wasn’t sure how to feel either.

That’s when I realized I didn’t need him to be excited. I didn’t need him to like my hair that way. you need love Myself from here.


My transgender child was one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever learned to love and accept. Through him I understood the true meaning of authenticity.

Watching your child go through the rigors of being different and misunderstood is very painful. I would take him to school in the morning, watching him get out of the car, and he would turn around and look at me over his shoulder.

He would go to school proudly every day, completely possessing who he was no matter how alienated he was from the negativity, ignorance and even hatred he was subjected to. My son kept showing up, talking in his voice, embracing his identity. He never betrayed himself.

This was the level of authenticity I wanted to live my life with. And this was the level of authenticity with which I made my decision to embrace this sacred process we call aging.

stepping fully

I decided that the things that were expected of me as an older woman—Botox, hair dye, whatever it takes to maintain it, who I was in life—were not compatible with who I was as a human being.

Growing gracefully doesn’t mean hiding the marks of wisdom I’ve gained. The wrinkles that decorate my face, the silver locks that make up my hair – it’s part of my journey.

The truth is, radiance does not come from youth. Brightness, magnetism, love – they come from accepting myself on my own terms.

That’s when my husband was on this flight with me completely.

Now, he’ll stop me on the street to take pictures of my silver hair glistening in the sunlight because it looks so beautiful – his words. The more I fall in love with myself, and the more I embrace myself as I am, the more my husband will fall in love with me.

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